Truth be told, not everyone who comes into your life has good intentions for you.
Truth be told, you never know what a person’s agenda is until it smacks you in the face. This is despite people telling you what said person is like and what they’ve done to others.
In light of that, below is my take on who you are, how I see you, and my sorrow that one important person doesn’t see you for who you really are:
The ugly truth behind that beautiful smile you so gracefully wear is nothing but a front to who you really are. I’m angry that you believe you know better, angrier that you believe you’re always right, and flat out pissed off that you’re allowed to do as you please even if the consequences are dire.
I dislike your higher-than-thou, I-know-better-than-you attitude. I dislike your nagging persistence; it accomplishes nothing and creates annoyance. I dislike how when I see you, you smile and pretend all’s well in the world when, really, the world’s crashing down. You just can’t see it through your rose-colored glasses.
I’m sorry that your deceit has shadowed the eyes of the one person who should see you for how you are. It shouldn’t have escalated this far. But your sunny mask of “All’s well!” has blinded this person to what everyone else sees. Reasons are not made/given to defend you, but excuses instead. And it’s sad to see that these excuses are becoming more elaborate and less fact based.
You believe you deserve so much. But how can you believe such a thing when you’ve done so little?
I see you for who and what you are. I refuse to let you walk all over me and those I care deeply about. I hope you grow up one day and realize that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you want, and not all relationships you have can be controlled.
You have no hold on me, my thoughts, my emotions. I refuse to let you have one more inch of any part of me because you’re not worth it.
So, I’m letting go of all of this, releasing it into Hands that are bigger than mine, giving them over to a Man who’s bigger than you or the trouble you cause. And as I patiently wait for Him to show me what to do and how/when to move, I am also praying that He gives me the patience to deal with you and not let this ugly situation rise from the dead.
I see the ugly truth behind your beautiful smile, but I push my feelings aside and wait for Him to lead and guide me.
This much I know: He is my rock, He is my peace, He is my guide, He is my truth.