Day 20: Move

(Today’s post is in letter form)

Dear God,

In light of current circumstances and my own want and need to know where I’m supposed to be, I’m asking for You to please show me where me and my family are supposed to be.

Maybe it’s because I’m looking for a huge, neon light sign with a giant arrow that shows says, “GO HERE!”

The reality (not problem) is that You don’t work like that. *Sigh* And that’s what I’m having trouble wrapping my brain around.

You’re so awesome and mighty and powerful and more than I could ask for but it’s frustrating to ask something of You because I HAVE TO WAIT AND LISTEN! (Can You sense/understand my frustration???) I know You always give the answer just when it needs to be given, but, I hate waiting! And listening??? Really??? You speak so softly most of the time I don’t hear You or I miss what You’re saying. How come You can’t just do a loud bullhorn moment?

I’m sorry, God. I know I shouldn’t be yelling or venting at You. Psh. This isn’t even easy to vent about to You because it is all about You and where we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing. Geez Louise!

I’m sorry, God, for my little outburst/hissy fit/tantrum. You don’t deserve that and I do apologize for it.

If the problem is waiting, please, please, please help me to be patient. If the problem is hearing/listening, please open my ears to only Your voice and tune out the rest of the world. If the problem is both… Well, I’ll leave it to You to fix both issues.

Show us where we’re supposed to go, give us peace with Your decision, help us to see the right in it. Nothing in our lives is without You. You’ve been our Rock, our Peace, our Comfort. You’ve proven Yourself time and again. You’ve never let us down.

I’m trusting You won’t. I have faith You’ll see us through. I believe in Your will for us.

Please, God. Just… Just show us.

Move us where You will.

Love,

Me

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2 thoughts on “Day 20: Move

  1. You wanna know what’s really helped to change my life literally in the last 2 weeks? A “Word Fast.”

    My mom put me on it two Tuesdays ago and I kid you not, that simple act of obedience has literally changed everything…and this is before my baby boy came and changed everything again. Try it out. Read NOTHING BUT THE WORD. In all your free time (not family time, not, “I have to do this for work or whatever” time, but free time). Just read it. Don’t worry about depth, don’t worry about nuance, just read. I started with the Epistles (all the letters) and got up to Romans (I didn’t get to Acts, the Gospels or Revelations). IT. CHANGED. EVERYTHING.

    Try it out. You’ll get the answers you’re looking for, because if I kept up with my blog posts and vented to God the way you did today, we would’ve written the exact same post.

    • I’ll have to try this. Thanks, Galen.

      It’s been a long time since I’ve vented to this extent at God. I’m not angry with Him. I just want to know. I’m not a planner but I hate uncertainty when it comes to this type of stuff.

      And, if I’m honest, life is miserable for me and everyone else when I’m unsure of my spiritual sanity and direction. Reading over the post, I realize I sound like a crazy person who doesn’t have a lick of sense about God or doesn’t trust Him. I do trust Him (probably not so evident in the post) but I don’t trust myself to hear Him clearly and go when He says go.

      I’m not afraid to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to church. Psh. I’ve left two already. Leaving a third isn’t a big deal. But what if I miss His “GO!” and stay? I don’t want to but I want it to be a clear “GO!” from only Him, not my emotions or other people or any outside factor. I know that if those are the deciding factors, I’ll just end up bitter and angry and hurt.

      To be honest, I’d rather not go there.

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