Missed Already

I have separation anxiety.

Funny thing, I didn’t have this with K1 as my maternity leave came to an end.

But as time ticks away and as my first day back at works nears, I realize how much I miss K2 already.

Is this normal? To feel it for one and not the other? What’s the difference? What makes the situations different? Does it get easier?

I was famous, still am in a way, for saying I couldn’t be a stay at home mom. With K1, that statement was incredibly true. I couldn’t wait to go back to work. Perhaps it was because I was a new (in every sense of the word) mom. Or perhaps it’s because I was younger and didn’t have the patience I have now.

*shrugs* I have no idea what the difference is, why I feel this way now, but it’s hard.

I’m not one to cry (much) over things I can’t change. Life is what it is. And because this is what it is, I’ll say I’m happy and grateful for the time I had with K2. And maybe, just maybe, things will change where I can be home more for both my girls.

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Then & Now

Kid 1 was born in 2007. And I was ill-prepared for motherhood and what it all entailed.

No one told me it’d be sleepless nights, constant diaper changing, and difficulty with nursing said kid. No one mentioned the spit ups, the crying, or the frustration that came with not knowing what the kid was crying for.

Fast forward to 2013, when Kid 2 entered this world.

I was better prepared this time, more ready to care for this baby. Nothing that surprised me before surprises me now.

Except that I’m not so easily frustrated this time around.

Kid 2 cries. A lot. And over almost everything. Wet diaper, dirty diaper, hungry, tired, cold, blah, blah, blah. I tell B she’s a temperamental little thing. And very much a girl, lol.

Kid 1 was a complacent baby. She hardly cried or fussed over anything. She was happy to just be, and maybe raise a ruckus every now and then over something. Kid 2… Completely different story.

Makes me wonder how Kid 2 will be when she grows up? Kid 1 has a strong personality. It poked its little head out when she was about eighteen months and has developed oh-so-nicely over the past few years. What if Kid 2 turns out like Kid 1? Heaven help us all if that happens, lol! Hmm… Maybe I should start planning a trip to the nearest psych ward, huh? Or maybe a month long vacation somewhere remote? 😉

The differences between then (2007) and now (2013) isn’t just time or experience. It’s age. Perhaps it’s a good thing we waited so long to have another child. I wonder if I would be this patient with the whole crying thing if we’d had another a year or two after having Kid 1?

Yeah…

Probably not.

Back At It Again

Monday brings with it the reality that I’ll be going back to work in two weeks. And to prep for that, I’ll be familiarizing myself with my old routine: up at 430am and out the door by 545am.

We’ll see how well I do with two kids, lol. One I can do. I’ve got about eighteen months doing this with one kid. But two?

Yeah… Either I’ll survive or go crazy, lol.

Anyone wanna take bets on which I’ll be after one week?

Watch Them Grow

Kid 2 is twelve days old now.

And she’s filling in more too. Her face is rounder, her body more solid.

B and I marvel at her strength, at how much she reminds us of Kid 1 when she was Kid 2’s age.

Kid 2 has been able to lift her head on her own since she was five days old. She’s got a killer grip for an infant, and she can (with a little bit of support) stand upright for a few seconds.

It’s amazing to watch her grow.

And completely humbling to know that God’s entrusted us with her, and her sister’s, care.

So we’ll strive to raise them as God would have us raise them, pray for His guidance in their lives, make sure they know we love them equally, hope they understand that they are not carbon copies of each other but beautiful individuals crafted for a specific purpose by their Father.

And years from now we’ll reminisce over their rambunctious and wild behavior as children, laugh at those “embarrassing” moments they had during their teenage years, and marvel at their accomplishments.

We’ll watch them grow from infants to children to teens to women.

And pray we’ll survive with all our faculties in tact. 😉

It’s How Big?

I visited Kaiser’s Radiology department today for an ultrasound of Kid 2. (Hopefully it’s my last visit to the Radiology department for a long while!)

Because I have gestational diabetes, they have me go in for extra ultrasounds to check the baby’s measurements and estimated weight. I didn’t ask how big the baby was (probably should’ve but I don’t really care ’cause the Kid’ll probably be as long as Kid 1) but I did ask for an estimated weight.

7 lbs 4 oz.

I sent B the weight and he texts back, “Wow. Good luck.”

Kid 1 was 7 lbs and some ounces when she was born. Kid 2, apparently, isn’t too far off from its sister.

Oh joy.